Wednesday, December 17, 2008

deceived with our eyes open

I don't even know how to put to "screen" (paper sounds better, but who am i kidding? i can type WAY faster than i can pen my thoughts...) my thoughts tonight. Organizing would require lists, and topics and brainstorming... when really my mind is just sort of full of things to say.  

How many times have we walked into a room full of people and felt alone.  I have.

How often do we feel like other mom's have it together?  I do... frequently.

How regularly do we "diss" ourselves, put ourselves down, reject the beauty in us, and only see the flaws that stare at us blatantly in the face?  Daily.

How often do we put on our smile of disguise, to hide the pain? Too often.

And how often do we busy ourselves so that we can find importance in "doing" so that we don't have to be vulnerable in being SERVED? More often that you probably think.

It's easy to buy into the lie that we are infact the only one NOT normal. The ONLY one not measuring up, the ONLY one that isn't meeting her potential in EVERY aspect of her life.   

Picture this with me...The master of lies, satan, seems to lurk in the shadows of my mind.  When my mind is focused and my heart is in line with Christ, my mind and heart are full of HIS light. I'm walking in the SONLIGHT, so to speak :)  Then, something will happen, a fight with your husband, a hard day with the kids, an emabarassing moment infront of other people, a failure at work, or a hiccup in a friendship... and like a lion prowling, satan springs into action... throwing personal insults at you, filling your mind with negativity about others, filling your heart with self doubt, pecking away at your self esteem, whittling away at your faith.. urging you to turn from truth and seek after self fulfillment.  "Who needs them anyway," he whispers.... "you'll never fit in there anyway...." he snears..... 

And you believe it.  We all have.  How do you think anger happens?  Isn't it so often a result of hurt, feelings of inadequacy, over compensating for a feeling of loss?  

Scripture tells us to think on that which is pure, holy, upright, good, and eternal. That above we guard our hearts from all evil.   We must cling to what we know to be TRUTH... to the words that God speaks to us in His word... to the fact that we are his chosen beloved.  His rare, priceless beauty, His shining gem, his FOREVER love...

We're human. Our focus will slip to self, when we KNOW it should be on HIM.  What's important is that we shift quickly back to HIS face.  Practice, practice, practice and prepare prepare prepare.  It doesn't feel natural to rebuke evil or sin.  We are BY nature, sinful. We come by it as naturally as we breathe.  What God calls us to do though is to shed the darkness and to walk in HIS Light.  We have to walk daily with him to start to reflect His light.   His power lives in us.  We have the power to rebuke the lies of satan. We have the power to open our eyes where we are so easily deceived and to reject the lies we so easily believe.  In the power of Christ, we cast light on the shadows where he lurks. There can be no room for him, where there is light. 

Our job is to inwardly be shining our light around the corners of our heart and minds. De-cobweb those corners, sweep out your heart, dust off  your mind.... Invite the presence of God into every nook and cranny of your being.   Are you surrendering EVERY aspect?  

And after we've done that, be an open book. Don't put up those facades that show the world you're "good" and "put together" and "fulfilling all worldly expectations".  Be real. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Let other see you, your cobwebbed corners and all.  We've all got issues.  Don't buy into the lie that you're alone in your problems. WE all have problems. None too great for God, and none too secret or "bad" to be untold to a friend. Trust. TRUST... TRUST... 

Isolation is where satan wants us; don't be paralyzed by it. Instead, reach out for the closest hand, grab it, and ask them to hold on with you.  You can do it.  WE can do it. Lets go.

(okay, maybe i should have made the lists and brainstorming webs and outlines... this feels random and sketchy... but it's what was on my heart and it's what my fingers went with, so it's what you get! HA!) 


Jani said...

Random, but so true. We haven't talked about these internal wars and self-talk for awhile. I have felt completely paralyzed physically, like Satan has the power over my physical health. And when I try to fix things by working out or eating better, etc. it just seems to backfire. But you mentioned the key word - SURRENDER.
I want to stay honest and open, vulnerable. But even then, have I completely surrendered that part of my life to Him? Obviously not. I just don't want it to be ME trying to fix it. Know what I mean? Well, I'm just blabbing now. See you at MOPS!
Love you - jani