Saturday, February 7, 2009

Multi-tasking mumblings

i've lost 40 sticks of butter.

you heard me.

40 sticks of butter... or otherwise known as 10 pounds.

i've been noticing and acknowledging in my personal life the times that I would turn to food for entertainment, comfort, companionship, BOREDOM, etc.

HABIT.. that's another one. I caught myself countless times this last month with the urge to grab, nibble, lick, sneak, or stuff my face with food. Sometimes, the moment that the temptation was there would take me by surprise - other times I'd see it up on the horizon and be anticipating it as it drew near... all the while pep talking myself and preparing myself to make the right choice.

I found it harder this last month to make the time for pure "communion" with Christ. I found my heart and mind focused on my desire to be successful in my quest for losing weight and becoming physically healthy. Should I have to exam myself.. i'd need to say my heart health probably slid a little this month.

Why does it have to be so difficult? Fleshly thoughts and attitudes come natural and have that way of "justifying" themselves... all the while God is gently calling me to take the high road.. to look to Him, to find satisfaction, completion, and peace in HIM in all circumstances.

and yet...the beauty of the moments of tempation was when HE gave me the strength to walk away from the food that would momentarily satisfy me. And everytime I stayed strong, He rewarded me on the scales. He rewarded my effort to look to HIM, to recognize the times when I'd have previously unconsciously looked away from His will and sought out after my own.

I guess in retrospect, I felt like the last month was a bit lonely in my dialogue with my Father, and yet, I think he was just walking with me, lending His hand for the moments when my foot was close to faltering.

What an amazing daddy.. that he'd be faithful. That he'd be forever patient and that he'd find joy in HELPING me through the choices I have to make everyday.

And to some, they may seem insignificant in magnitude. But when HE gives me strength to turn away from food, I get excited... b/c to me it shows His power at work. It shows HIS strength in my weakness.


bullard6 said...

Ok Charity...I get home from church today and the first thing I read is your blog post. Pastor is doing a series on Ephesians...calling it sit. walk. stand.

Today's message was on Eph 4:17-32

Ephesians 4:17-32 (New Living Translation)

Living as Children of Light
17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”[a] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own,[b] guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

He used some examples of what it is like to put off our old self and put on new. A wall w/old wallpaper...its written on, tattered, ugly (these are the fleshly thoughts and sinfulness...and how putting on the new wallpaper is SUCH a long process...getting that glue off, smoothing out the bubbles, just lots of pain! He also compared our old selves to an old dirt road, where the farmers have made ruts w/their tires. These ruts are engrained in the soil, as our "old selfish and sinful ways" are so deeply engrained in our minds and hearts. And how when you're driving your car thru those ruts, it causes a lot of violence just to try and get out of the ruts. Anyway...I guess this just reminded me of your words in your struggles that you've expressed; because there is always going to be an attack on you as you take off those old clothes and put on your new self, as Paul said. I noticed that you've felt some guilt as your consumption w/the weight loss and feeling that you've not spent the time w/God. This leads me to another point from today!

He talked about Setting your mind on things above to renew our minds. Training the mind by saturating ourselves in His word so that when those old "ruts" in our thinking, our reaction to the world (our kids, our husband...whatever is our stumbling block) SIN in general...we will then have the knowledge and the strength from God's Word to draw from. Just as an athlete would never decide to run a marathon w/no training. We need to TRAIN our mind.

All this to say, I'm learning so much from what you're sharing here and it all kind of came together for me after church today and then I read your clicked w/me about some things in my own life. I am so proud of you and I believe that God is proud of you for putting your mind on taking care of your temple. Don't let Satan steal your joy by throwing guilt in the middle of your road. I love you! :)

just me said...

GIRL! What an awesome comment you left me!!! I love the visuals of the wallpaper and the road. I am such a visual person, and in seeing those "images" in my mind, I can almost immediately feel the emotions that would go along with them. Wow. Love that. That passage in Eph. has been a favorite of mine too... and it's always great to reread and then hear different takes on it...

so, thanks for your encouragement! Thanks for going on my bloggie journey with me. I love ya!

Katy said...

Congrats on your progress outwardly and inwardly - no matter how big or how small!

Your writings are such an inspiration and so insightful. Thank you.


just me said...

Katy! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!! :) I figure we all struggle through life with our own issues... our one constant is that God is GOOD and that he LOVES us. If my struggles can give him any amount of glory, they're worth it. Keep comin' back to see how :)

Andrea said...

I admire you for working so hard to reach your goals and I'm praying for you as you strive.

God's Not Finished With Us Yet... said...

Multi-tasking? Something I'm only sometimes good at like when I worked full time, but at home with to small ones, I lose my head, forget things and noticed I have a hard time keeping up with things...

What Bullard6 said was awesome and something just for you that God knew you needed to hear. How awesome is that? (I took a tidbits from that comment too though. :D Shhhhhh...)

Multi-tasking is a word I dread.

I loved how you use the word 'daddy' for father.....that's great!