Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Distracted

Hi everybody.... it's been about a week or so since I sat down to jot some thoughts down. Honestly, it's been a week of distractions and I'm afraid my heart hasn't been as intentional on listening to the spirit. But God was faithful to me and did not remain silent. Amazing that He pursues me, while my mind and heart can find other things to dwell on.

So, here's the deal. Right now I'm in a serious season in my personal life. I'm in a season of retaking back my health; in the sense of wanting to be the healthiest person that I can be. At first I was thinking of this purely in the physical sense as in losing weight, toning up, and being thin. As long as I can remember my weight has been something that lingers in the back of mind and seems present in every situation and place. I know it affects how I carry myself, my self esteem and my interactions with others. After being on lots and lots of diets and strugging with this my whole life, it's become quite obvious that it's more than a physical issue! Duh, right?! :)

Well, last week I sort of hit that "place" (i think it's this elusive place.. different for every person!) where i said, "ENOUGH". So mentally the last week I have been focusing on my eating and making better choices, trying to get a few days of exercise and asking HIM to show me my bad habits and to help me get to the bottom of them. I asked God to be my partner on this ride. i KNOW I will fail miserably without Him.

HOWEVER, I'm frustrated because I put so much effort mentally and physically into that area of my life - I allowed my one on one time with the Lord to become lacking. I let my thoughts go to, "I hope when i stand on the scales I see results" instead of "man, Jesus, what are you gonna show me today!?"

I was sitting here at the computer yesterday and it hit me. We've got to exercise all areas of our lives. We've got physical muscles that have to be moved and toned. It involves repetition, determination, consistency, increasing the poundage as your muscles grow stronger, and feeding your body what it needs best to function at 100%.

Our spiritual muscles have to be stretched too!!! Sometimes God allows circumstances that show us NEW muscles that we didn't know existed (our bodies have felt that before too!!!!!!!!!!!!). We're given opportunities to repeat and repeat and again, repeat things so that we can become stronger in our convictions, stronger in our beliefs, and stronger in our faith. Without determination and consistency it's easy to be lax, to become apathetic and to become "luke warm" in our approach to God. In order to NOT allow those things to happen, I HAVE to be feeding on His word, pumping in His views of me. Believing it when HE tells me that I am His prize, that I am his JOY, that He finds me beautiful. I have to hold on to His hand on the journey. He's rooting for me. And not because He'll love me more on the other side of it. But because He gets the joy of running with me and becuase He wants the best for me.

So, while I've been a tad silent... God has not. And I've been reluctant to share - because it puts me in a SERIOUS place of vulnerability. But, accountability and honesty are KEY in this process and with God, I will succeed. And I can't wait to give him some AWESOME glory!

6 comments:

Jilly said...

Ohhhhh Charity, it's so GOOD to see you blogging your heart! :)

You know that "icky-in-the-tummy" feeling when the Holy Spirit calls you to an uncomfortable place? But then you obey the prompting, and something amazing happens?

That's kinda like stretching a spiritual muscle that's not used to being used. Yes?? And I love the way God moves when we follow where He nudges us. We grow! Miracles happen! God moves! Lives are touched! On and on.

You're a beautiful woman, and I love the way your heart seeks the Father. Press on, sweet mama!!

just me said...

YEAH, Jillikins!!! you made it over :) and YES>. you are absolutely right about that "gut" muscle we have in our spiritual lives. Ever so hard to submit to sometimes, and the affects after often leave a unique sensation burning in us.. and yet, after wards there enourmous rewards!

LOVE YA

God's Not Finished With Us Yet... said...

Sweetie, being vulnerable is not a bad thing, though a little scary from time to time; it can actually be quite a good thing. Being vulnerable allows others to help you where you need it the most. Being vulnerable allows God to grow, change, improve, and strengthen areas needed in your life, maybe even things you are unaware of. It makes you pliable, allowing Him to do His mold and prepare you for whatever is coming your way.

Also a wonderful thing about showing vulnerability is that it tells us all that you are human. You aren't a robot, or Christ Himself, you aren't a perfect person, as none of us are. Shoot, I had the worse quilty feelings today (not ready to talk about it yet) and I too felt how you describe here. But it's good to show others this side because it helps us to all relate to you; which is crucial when developing friendships. We've all been there and we've all gotten through it; and so will you.

You were made in HIS image and are precious! I'm glad to typed up this post and shared it to us all!

Many blessings,
~Sarah

Joyfulsister said...

Hi ,
I found your blog as I was going down the list visting other blogs. I say a big AMEN as I read your post today!!. Hmm kinda made me ponder more on what I can do to get more healthy. Thanks for the insights and important reminder about keeping our spiritual muscles just as fit.

Hugz Lorie

just me said...

Lorie! Welcome to my blog!!! i SO love to have comments and hear thoughts from those reading here. After being sick for a week, i'm anxious to get back in the blogging groove and check out your blog too!! :) Come back soon :)

Dependant Warriors said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing! Such a blessing to my heart. God is so patiently drawing me closer and teaching me to let Him love me. I know that is not "correct" but it is how it feels from my side. I am so thankful for His everlasting and ever so personal love!