Distracted

Hi everybody.... it's been about a week or so since I sat down to jot some thoughts down. Honestly, it's been a week of distractions and I'm afraid my heart hasn't been as intentional on listening to the spirit. But God was faithful to me and did not remain silent. Amazing that He pursues me, while my mind and heart can find other things to dwell on.

So, here's the deal. Right now I'm in a serious season in my personal life. I'm in a season of retaking back my health; in the sense of wanting to be the healthiest person that I can be. At first I was thinking of this purely in the physical sense as in losing weight, toning up, and being thin. As long as I can remember my weight has been something that lingers in the back of mind and seems present in every situation and place. I know it affects how I carry myself, my self esteem and my interactions with others. After being on lots and lots of diets and strugging with this my whole life, it's become quite obvious that it's more than a physical issue! Duh, right?! :)

Well, last week I sort of hit that "place" (i think it's this elusive place.. different for every person!) where i said, "ENOUGH". So mentally the last week I have been focusing on my eating and making better choices, trying to get a few days of exercise and asking HIM to show me my bad habits and to help me get to the bottom of them. I asked God to be my partner on this ride. i KNOW I will fail miserably without Him.

HOWEVER, I'm frustrated because I put so much effort mentally and physically into that area of my life - I allowed my one on one time with the Lord to become lacking. I let my thoughts go to, "I hope when i stand on the scales I see results" instead of "man, Jesus, what are you gonna show me today!?"

I was sitting here at the computer yesterday and it hit me. We've got to exercise all areas of our lives. We've got physical muscles that have to be moved and toned. It involves repetition, determination, consistency, increasing the poundage as your muscles grow stronger, and feeding your body what it needs best to function at 100%.

Our spiritual muscles have to be stretched too!!! Sometimes God allows circumstances that show us NEW muscles that we didn't know existed (our bodies have felt that before too!!!!!!!!!!!!). We're given opportunities to repeat and repeat and again, repeat things so that we can become stronger in our convictions, stronger in our beliefs, and stronger in our faith. Without determination and consistency it's easy to be lax, to become apathetic and to become "luke warm" in our approach to God. In order to NOT allow those things to happen, I HAVE to be feeding on His word, pumping in His views of me. Believing it when HE tells me that I am His prize, that I am his JOY, that He finds me beautiful. I have to hold on to His hand on the journey. He's rooting for me. And not because He'll love me more on the other side of it. But because He gets the joy of running with me and becuase He wants the best for me.

So, while I've been a tad silent... God has not. And I've been reluctant to share - because it puts me in a SERIOUS place of vulnerability. But, accountability and honesty are KEY in this process and with God, I will succeed. And I can't wait to give him some AWESOME glory!