abundantly blessed

This season I am feeling extremely blessed.  While I have moments of near insanity, they are nearly almost always followed by intense emotions of gratitude and thankfulness.  I've been praying that God would open my eyes to the hurting and I've been praying that He would break my heart and show me ways that I could love others and show others His love.  

As I wrote a while back, this Christmas season, for me, has been one where I've been working to keep my heart focused on the gift of Jesus and in teaching my kids about the beauty of giving and not being self focused.    And it's also been about seeing the beauty of the season through their young enchanted eyes.  The way the little things like twinkle lights bring such smiles and "oohhhs and ahhhs" to their lips.  It's such a good reminder to me... find joy in the little things!!!

This week we've had an incredible cold snap. Temperatures have been SO cold. It had seemed that winter was eluding us for a while.  I can't say that anymore! With single digit degrees at night and the ice and frozen inch of snow on the ground have really gotten my heart moving.  Saturday night we were on the way home from a Christmas party where we'd had the joy of being with friends.  We ate incredible food and fellowshipped and chased our kids around.  Good times, right?  

It was SO cold and I was snug in our car as my husband was driving us home.  I felt my hands... they were warm... my feet snug in my sturdy shoes.  My children, with full tummies and cozy jammies on... talking about how they can't wait for Christmas.  Theire coats weren't even on when we got in the car becuase we'd warmed it up before we got in it. Their winter coats lay at their feet.  Wow.  What a picture of "enough" .  What a picture of "wealth" and "abundance".

The wind was really blowing too and my thoughts instantly went to the homeless people in our town.  We have a larg population of homeless people and I immediately envisioned mothers and children huddling together; doing their best to be warm. And here we sat, in a warm car, coats not even ON ... completely oblivious to the the affects of the winter night on so many unknown faces on the street.

We got home and I walked into our warm and cozy home.  After the kids were in bed, I started loading up a bag of groceries to take to the food drive at church.  My husband asked what I was doing; I told him and he watched me another minute.

Then he asked me, "Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

I hesitated and then went on, "I just feel so overwhelmed with what we have. I feel lucky, blessed, guilty, thankful, and helpless all at the same time.  I mean, I'm thankful for our home and what God has blessed us with... but at the same time, I feel so guilty for having a nice home, when so many our there are suffering on nights like tonight."

"What would you do different or what are you going to do about it?" he asked me.

I let that sort of sit on my mind overnight. I woke up thinking about it and knew I needed to be obedient. God is still sort of showing me what the picture is that HE has in mind.  But I am excited to do what He's asking.  To be Servant Hands to those that He loves.

Over the course of the last 2 days I've had some dialogue with my children about those less fortunate than us.  I want them to not only just "know" it to be true.. I want them to SEE it to be true.  At their young ages, I am not sure how that is to look exactly... but I'm confident that God will show me. 

As I am obedient, would you please be praying that God would be directing my mind and my choices.  That He would lead me to the right people at the right time.

Thanks.. and i WILL keep you posted as to what HIS grand plan is... :)