Sunday, May 31, 2009

Checking in with everybody!

So, how is everyone tonight? It's night here - though likely it'll not be night for you when you read this... regardless... it isn't important! HOW ARE YOU? I like to think that we are having a dialogue somehow - even though it tends to be quite one sided... I do imagine you nodding your head, laughing, or even tearing up as I share about stuff... or challenge you with stuff... or just as God leads your heart to become sensitive. If ever, at any time in my blogging journey, God uses me to bring you closer to Him... what an honor and privilege that would be. All glory to Him!

So, I've asked how you are... and I imagine you saying, "And you? How are YOU tonight?!"

Oh thanks for asking! (I promise I only hear a "few" voices in my head.. most days! HA HA)

big breath.

Actually... to be honest... it changes from day to day. I know that's normal, so that's why I feel it safe to be honest here. I know many of you are overwhelmed with motherhood and life and marriage and your journey with Christ. And pile on that, the guilt that we can have when we "feel" we shouldn't be overwhelmed with those sorts of things!

Church blessed me today. The worship got into my heart and just resonated and echoed and literally sent me to my knees in worship! It's great when you sit in the front row b/c you have lots of room to just kneel in sweet adoration! Can you imagine kneeling in a pew row! I'd surely smack my forehead on the pew infront of me and surely be stuck there! Ack! What a sweetness to feel the freedom to worship in a style that isn't common at our church and to be blessed without feelings of embarrassment! In all reality, I think few people even realized I was on my knees... which isn't the point anyway! I digress. I even stuck around for the next service and worshipped a 2nd time to the music - this time on my feet tho ;) It makes no difference to my Jesus and I love that. Just like my worship when I'm in despair and my worship when I'm filled with JOY - both mean the world to him. And in all reality the posture of my body is far less important than the posture of my heart. For some, the body posture in worship can get in the way of true heart worship. For others, body posture can sometimes lead their hearts into submission.... don'tcha love how we're all different?! At the heart of it all though.. we're simply called to worship. Love that.

I came home from church feeling still in my heart. After lunch the kids watched a movie and I read from my newest book, "They like Jeus but not the church" by Dan Kimball. What a great book! I'm only on page 80 so far... but God is using his words to challenge me!! I'm excited to read more this evening and more tomorrow!!! As I keep goin, perhaps I'll share some thoughts with you...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

House Cleaning

So, today I've been working in the master bedroom. If your room looks like mine it gets the left over random stuff tossed in on the bed or dresser, while the door gets quickly shut. It gives the perfect impression that the living room is clean; therefore the house is clean. WRONG! HA!

A random old TV is coming out today. A couple random computer boxes of misc. parts and pieces are coming out. A few loads of laundry are coming out (and of course going back in.. clean and folded..ironed...? nah! lets not get TOO crazy!).

IN, went a small bookshelf - to hold the books that have been in a big ole tote. As I took them out I decided it was necessary to purge out some titles. Not because they were bad books.... but because it was time to simplify, and not hold on to books with the "hope" that i'd finish them. Or allow the guilt of "I should be reading 'that' one again" to drive to pick up the book - only to remember why it didn't hold my interest the first time! (wink!) SOOOOOO..... I pulled off about 8 books that I just don't "need" anymore! What a liberating feeling! I'm often full of "someday, i'll use that" or "someday i'll read it", and "someday that will change my life!"... Almost as if I'm in bondage to that book shelf. NO MORE! :) A select few went back up...besides being less to visually look at, it feels "lighter" to my spirit too.

I've not only been doing physical inventory in my home...but working to do it in my heart as well. That's far more painful that chucking a few books out. And yet, in the end the feeling is the same... a lightness to my spirit that confirms that God and I are doing well.

How about you? Are there things in your life that you tell yourself are "good" and yet you feel tied to them by obligation or because it just seems like what you're supposed to do? Or maybe there are poor habits in your life ... or choices that aren't going to lead where God wants to take you... would you be ready to look "that" in the eye and chuck it?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

God... I'm weary

Ever had those moments? Ok, who am I kidding? Ever had those days/weeks/months?! You'll find yourself not only closing the door to the bathroom off your master bedroom, but also the door to your room as well! As if, 2 closed doors between you and the world that is your life, will make it somehow more manageable for you to breathe......deeply....slowly....purposefully... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.....

It's kinda been where I've been hiding the last month. Between all the roles that we as women (humans) pile on ourselves I have had moments of complete flailing. Trust me, it hasn't been pretty nor attractive.

In an effort to sort through things God has been taking me on a journey. We're far from kicking off our sandles and calling it a wrap - which trust me, is a comfort because I'm not ready to stay "here" forever!

So, bear with me, if you would... while God and I talk and work through some things. It might look messy. It might not look like your life at all - or you might just wonder how I knew so much about you.

Truth is.. we're all on a journey. I'd welcome it if you'd walk with me.